I No Longer Feel Safe Around My Children's Dad and I Am Concerned for Their Wellbeing – What Can I Do?
One of the hardest conversations I have with clients is when they tell me they no longer feel safe around the other parent, or they're worried about the children's safety during contact.
If this is how you're feeling, please know that you are not alone. Many parents find themselves in this position, and there are legal options available to help protect both you and your children.
Trust your instincts
If you genuinely believe that you or your children are at risk, it's important not to ignore those concerns.
That doesn't mean stopping contact because of a disagreement or difficult co-parenting relationship. However, where there has been domestic abuse, controlling behaviour, threats, violence, substance misuse, neglect or behaviour that places the children at risk, those concerns should be taken seriously.
Every family's circumstances are different, and it's important to look at the whole picture rather than assuming there is a one-size-fits-all answer.
Do I have to let contact continue?
Not necessarily.
The law doesn't require a child to spend time with a parent if doing so would place them at risk of harm.
If you believe there is an immediate risk to you or your children, your first priority should always be safety. Depending on the circumstances, it may be appropriate to pause contact while you seek legal advice or until the court has considered the concerns.
If there isn't an immediate risk but you have ongoing worries, there may be safer ways for contact to take place, such as supervised contact or indirect contact while matters are investigated.
What will the court look at?
Whenever the Family Court is asked to make decisions about children, its overriding concern is the child's welfare.
The court will consider a range of factors, including:
Whether there has been domestic abuse.
Whether the children have witnessed abusive behaviour.
Any concerns about alcohol or drug misuse.
Mental health issues where they impact parenting.
Any previous involvement from the police or children's services.
The wishes and feelings of the child, depending on their age and understanding.
The emotional, physical and educational needs of the child.
The court's role isn't to punish a parent. It's to decide what arrangements are in the child's best interests.
What if there has been domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse isn't limited to physical violence.
It can include controlling or coercive behaviour, emotional abuse, intimidation, financial abuse, harassment or threats.
If domestic abuse has taken place, the court can take this into account when deciding what arrangements are appropriate for the children.
In some cases, protective orders such as a Non-Molestation Order may also be available.
What evidence should I keep?
If you're worried about your children's safety, try to keep a clear record of your concerns.
This could include:
Messages or emails.
Police incident numbers.
Medical records.
Photographs where appropriate.
A diary recording incidents, including dates and what happened.
Information from schools or other professionals if relevant.
You don't need to have every piece of evidence before seeking legal advice. A solicitor can help you understand what may be relevant in your particular case.
Should I apply to court?
That depends on your circumstances.
Some matters can be resolved through negotiation or with the assistance of solicitors.
Where agreement isn't possible, or where there are safeguarding concerns, an application to the Family Court may be necessary. This could include asking the court to determine child arrangements or, where appropriate, seeking protective orders.
The right course of action will depend on the facts of your case.
You don't have to deal with this on your own
Feeling frightened or constantly worried about your children's safety is exhausting.
Many parents tell me they've spent months questioning whether they're overreacting before finally asking for help. Seeking legal advice doesn't mean you're starting a fight. It means you're finding out what your options are so you can make informed decisions for yourself and your children.
At Palmer Family Law, I understand that every family is different. If you're worried about your safety or your children's wellbeing, I can provide clear, practical advice tailored to your circumstances and help you understand the legal options available.
If you'd like confidential advice about your situation, please get in touch. Sometimes one conversation is enough to help you understand where you stand and what the next step should be.